Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
