No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
