Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
