how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
