he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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