Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
