whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Randomize
