You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
