the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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