She said her name was "party"
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
