she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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