we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
