Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
