There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
