Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Randomize
