I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize