Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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