What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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