...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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