school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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