I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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