Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
