Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
