Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
