i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
God, I missed his penis.
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