I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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