I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
