some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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