dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
