the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
