just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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