One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I can't turn off my feet"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
