we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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