I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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