Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize