On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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