You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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