Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm at about main and main street
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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