Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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