You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My ATM looks so different sober.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
