Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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