Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
