i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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