Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Buhtt sex?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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