Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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