eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
