he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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