oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
