Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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