Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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