that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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