Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
