Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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