she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
