It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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