When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
