i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
