went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize