in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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