Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
